effects of caffeine overdose

effects of caffeine overdose

on my ipod: you should have known better by monica

as you guys all know, i still have no clue as to what i am doing. what's worse, i am suffering from caffeine overdose as i write this (that's what i get for drinking 5 tall cups in one day, damn those peppermint mochas!). so if you think this entry is jumpy, has no sense or is way pointless, you know the reason.

i actually asked for an intervention. my really good friend and official "shrink" alex and i met up the other day and discussed all my psych and emotional problems, and the necessary steps that i need to take. in between hot peppermint mochas and frappuccinos, he discussed to me with a level head that i have in fact a still-normal life with normal problems a regular 22-year old would have. although i am quite old for the job that i have right now (why did i even consider a "career" in this field is beyond me), i am still young for the career path that i wish to take (which is in media). although he told me that if i want to make a difference in my life, i have to do it NOW and i have to do the first step--which is to find out what i really what i want to do in life (which is writing, i think) and apply,apply, apply. so here i am, at work and looking at job searches while i'm at it. whoever said starting over is hard wasn't kidding. but i'm TRYING. i'm actually TRYING to:

1. have the courage to apply even though i've been out of circulation for over a year;

2. get up from the mistakes and bad career moves i made in the past 3 years;

3. rebuild my life and redefine my goals;

4. find out what really is my passion in life;

5. not to breakdown and cry although it is so much easier to do so.

alex knows me too well. he knows that when i say: "i'm trying," i'm actually not trying that hard. so part of my TRYING list is TRYING REALLY REALLY HARD. i must be really messed up.