Bitchy Mondays

On my iPod: I’m Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage

I’m sure you all had a day like this: woke up late, you’re having a bad hair day, forgot your cellphone in your locked house, then you realized that you forgot your house keys, forgot to charge your iPod, then you realize that you forgot the charger (again, inside your locked house) and traffic is killer on your way to the office. And it’s just 9:23 in the morning.

Gosh. You would think because I am 20-something I should (at least) get my act together. But the thing is, I am still as messed up as I was when I was fresh out of college. And it has been 3 years. Which makes me wonder: Is there really such a thing as getting your act together?

I used to bitch about hating my job, wanting to move on, being financially independent and coming home to an empty house. At the time I was in a deep, dark place… I was lost. Now that I finally have a job that I love, I am (more or less) financially independent and I have two wonderful poodles to come home to, I still feel that my life is a mess. I look at my place and it’s one big mess.

Those who have been to my place—I know what you guys are thinking. I should do a spring clean overhaul one of these days. My mom actually thinks I should have a separate bedroom just for my shoes and bags (she said that after opening my closet one day and all my bags avalanched on top of her). Kidding aside, I guess that’s what makes me me. You know, the whacked, crazy and carefree me. Sure, I would love to be all OC-ish like my best friend, Isla (the woman lives on E-Z store boxes, I’m telling you) but then I think about it, it’s so not my style. I’m bohemian, cluttered, with all those “artistic mess” crap that I’ve been telling my mom since I was 12 (“Honey, you’re a dancer, not a painter!”). But it also made me think: maybe I am not as grown up as I think. It’s true that I am living the life that I had always envisioned since I was a kid, but in a lot of ways, I am still a kid. Cartoon-watching, PS2-playing, Cocoa Puffs-eating kid. And I still have a long way to go. God, I hate Mondays.