The Official Drama Queen

Drama Queen no more

2010-12-01T12:18:00.002+08:00

The Official Drama Queen.

I've had this title since I was in high school, and I've had this blog since 2005.

But now the Drama Queen has grown up, and it's time for a change.

Welcome to the Lallypop World.

Brand new blog for the brand new me.

*Why Lallypop, you ask? It's actually my childhood nickname. :D

White Picket Fence Dreams

2010-04-05T12:09:00.001+08:00

PHOTO: Picket Fence Dreams by Lally Fider

Happiness is but a state of mind.

For some, it means fulfillment of

White picket fence dreams.

As for me?

Happiness means

The realization of childhood

Hopes and dreams.

What's yours?

Her time is now

2010-02-26T14:17:00.001+08:00

To those of you who don't know here's my best friend:

Cool, huh? First thing people notice when they see her is her shaved head. But beyond that, she's a person who's not afraid to LIVE.

So far she's lived in 4 countries (Saudi Arabia, Manila, Germany & Norway), traveled all over the world (name any country, chances are, she's been there), climbed mountains (literally and figuratively), and surfed the waves. She's a yoga instructor, photographer and skateboarder. She was a competitive wall climber (even competed in international meets), triathlete, print model (mostly for Summit Media magazines), t-shirt designer...the list goes on. All this and she's only in her 20's.

And now she's on to pursuing her latest dream:

becoming a Benetton model

Why Benetton? Ever since we were in high school (when Benetton was THE brand), we always admired the Benetton multi-racial print ads, though we felt that the Philippines was unrepresented. With the exception of Tim Yap and Rissa Mananquil, there never were any other Filipinos who were featured in their ads.

Except now.

Benetton recently launched an online casting call for their 2010 campaign, and Isla is part of it! With her morena complexion, unique sense of style and her go-getter attitude, she's the PERFECT candidate to represent our country for the campaign, don't you think? But before she can do that, she needs to win the online polls so she can be part of the shortlist of 100.

Do I need to say it out loud?

PLEASE VOTE FOR ISLA!

by going to this LINK

or copy and paste this to your browser:

http://casting.benetton.com/users/76558-isla/

The votation ends on March 16, and you can vote for her everyday. You just have to create a profile though, but I think they also have a Facebook connect thing. Easy right? :) Vote, vote, vote!

On the third day of Christmas, I wish I had these...

2009-12-16T07:00:00.000+08:00

1. Jimmy Choo Biker Boot Fall/Winter 2009-2010, 2. Jimmy Choo Fall/Winter 2009-2010 Campaign, 3. Jane Aldridge for Sea of Shoes, 4. Rumi for Fashion Toast, 5. Emily for Cupcakes and Cashmere, 6. Jimmy Choo Fall/Winter 2009-2010 Campaign

Leather, buckles and a whole lotta attitude; Harley Davidsons optional...the biker boot has got to be my favorite look for Fall/Winter '09. From the runways of Alexander Wang, Balmain, Gucci and the shoe god Jimmy Choo, they showed us that we need not be a greasy road-hogger to rock this look.

From dresses, shorts, jeans... these boots can actually go with almost anything in your closet. Take a clue from my favorite fashionistas Jane Aldridge, Emily and Rumi... Don't they just make you wanna go out and buy a pair?

Back to regular programming...

2009-12-15T07:00:00.003+08:00

I'm still a little bit depressed over yesterday's drama, and a sure-fire way to get me to (slowly) move on are SHOES.

So what's for the Second Day of Christmas?

It's the YSL Cage Heels!

Introduced to us during the Yves Saint Laurent Spring-Summer '09 Collection, these futuristic heels received mixed reviews from the fashion world--others saw it as genius, while others cringed at it. Well, the YSL house is known for fashion innovation.

The term "shoes are made for walking" clearly does not include the Cage Heels, as they have 4.5 inch heels that will make you look like a Greecian goddess, but I can only imagine the punishment it will put your peds through. If you're the type to suffer for fashion, then I guess the torture is worth it.

In fact, Hollywood celebrities were all over the "Cage Rage" (sorry, can't help it)--from Kim Kardashian to Beyonce to Shoe Queen Jane Aldridge.

In my opinion, The Cage is just that--a rage, and it is unlikely that it will reach iconic status. Much like the jelly sandals fad of the early 2000's, it is just way too trendy to have the longevity of say, ballet flats. But knowing fashion, I'm sure it will be reincarnated and revamped 10 years from now.

But that doesn't mean it's not drool-worthy and I wouldn't love to have one (if I can afford the steep price tag). But as far as practicality goes, I think I'd settle for inspired by versions.

I never imagined this day would come...

2009-12-14T15:46:00.002+08:00

In case some of you don't know, I'm a huge Apple loyalist. I have been working with Apple machines since I was 7, working on my Dad's ancient Macintosh Classic, so it's no surprise that Apple is my brand of choice because:

    1. It's very reliable. It won't crash or get viruses unlike PCs and PC-based gadgets.

    2. The design is superb, thanks to Apple's Golden Boy Johnny Ive.

    3. Let's face it, Steve Jobs just comes up with all these cool gadgets that you would have to have.

So for years, I've been pretty much happy with all the Apple products I've had my whole life--from my ancient Grape iMac to my 5th Gen U2 iPod...till now.

The U2 iPod was pretty much a dream come true for me--a collaboration between the two gods of my life--the rock gods of U2 and the geek god that is Steve Jobs. The ultimate dream team for I was a U2 and Apple fanatic.

Plus it didn't hurt that it also had the coolest design: black case front and back, with a red click wheel and U2's autographs laser etched at the back.

I was so excited for it that I actually went on leave the day it was released and dragged Biker Boi to the nearest Power Mac Center so I can buy myself one. I've been really happy with it for the past 2 (give or take) years I've had it, till I was about to update it the other day and saw this:

It was the iPod sad face, and from what I've heard, it was the Mac equivalent to the blue screen of death. Oh no! I panicked, since this was the first time I've encountered a problem with any of my Apple gadgets. But I was still hopeful and optimistic as I handed it over to the Apple Service Center technician for repair. It can still be fixed, right?

Turns out I was dead wrong. I just received a call from my Apple technician today, and apparently, my beloved U2 iPod had a busted dock connector, and for that, they would need to replace the whole motherboard. I was advised against having it repaired, since the cost for a new motherboard is almost the same price as a new iPod. I can hardly believe my ears because this never happens with an Apple product...this never happens! I felt my happy Apple bubble pop.

I was offered a trade-in where I would hand over my U2 iPod and be given the iPod Classic as a replacement, for 10% off the regular price. It would have been a good deal except this was the U2 iPod we're talking about. It has U2's-FREAKIN-BONO'S SIGNATURE at the back! No way I would hand it over... Besides, with the news of U2 leaving Apple, my iPod can actually be a collector's item (if you can even call a gadget that). So with tears welling up in my eyes, I grudgingly told them to just ship back the damn thing--broken motherboard and all.

I'm still in denial about the whole thing. I still can't believe that my beloved iPod is beyond repair. I still can't believe that for the first time in years, Apple failed me. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why?!?

Damn you Steve Jobs for making me so dependent on your technology!
Damn you Johnny Ive for making me drool over your designs!
Damn you Bono (and U2) for leaving Apple for Blackberry!

Now excuse me while I search eBay for a replacement U2 iPod...in the meantime, any ideas what I can do with a dead 'Pod?

On the first day of Christmas, what I'm craving for...

2009-12-14T07:00:00.016+08:00

... Dr. Martens Vintage Floral Boots!

1. Dr. Martens Vintage Floral boots, 2. The Cherry Blossom Girl, 3. Sienna Miller for Nylon Magazine, 4. The Sartorialist

Dr. Martens was the "it" shoe during the grunge era of the 90's. Back when Nirvana, Hole and Pearl Jam ruled the airwaves, it was rare to see anyone on the street not wearing a pair. It gave a whole new meaning for bang for your buck, since these babies are really durable (my old pair is actually still alive in my shoe closet).

When the new millennium rolled in and pointed toe shoes came in, Dr. Martens suddenly lost is popularity till it (almost) disappeared. Till now.

Nylon Magazine did a fashion spread with Sienna Miller for their July 2009 issue, where she sported revamped versions of the Dr. Martens boots of the 90's. Candy-colored, vintage floral prints...it was Dr. Martens like you've never seen before.

A sure attention-grabber, it was a hit among the fashionistas from Milan to Paris--the Vintage Floral Boots quickly became one of Spring/Summer '09's most coveted boots, as these funky D.M.'s were limited editions.
All that clamor for an almost-dead boot? Now that's what I call resurrection.

Instead of a partridge in a pear tree...

2009-12-13T07:00:00.000+08:00

12 Shoes of Christmas by qtea.angel featuring Burberry shoes

I prefer shoes!!!

Let's countdown the days till Christmas by looking back at the best shoes of 2009.

That's starting tomorrow!

How the Grinch turned into an Elf

2009-12-12T07:00:00.001+08:00

Endless deadlines, stress and drama turned me into a Scrooge this year. Despite the nippy weather, this year didn't feel like Christmas to me. I assumed that as I got older, the magic of Christmas will fade, since Christmas is for kids. Plus I am already imagining the credit card bill that will come along with this holiday, which will probably make me faint and hyperventilate. Till I saw this on my desk this morning:

My first Christmas gift for this year!

Dark Chocolate! My favorite!

Now it feels like Christmas!

Have a chocolate-y Christmas everyone!

Who's crazy enough?

2009-12-11T07:00:00.001+08:00

"Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."

- Apple Computer 1997 Think Different Campaign

My younger brother's running for Quezon City District 4 Councilor in next year's elections.

I tell him he's out of his mind.

He tells me he's gonna make a difference.

I tell him he's crazy.

He tells me I'm empathic.

Idealistic little him.

Jaded little me.

And then I read this.

And I went out and registered.

To bag or not to bag?

2009-12-04T17:35:00.000+08:00

Unlike most women my age, I was never really obsessed with bags. Primarily because in the line of work that I'm in, practicality and function always comes first before fashion (since I can't really fit my 12-inch iBook, dozens of DV tapes and lots and lots of scripts in a purse). Plus the fact that I tend to literally forget EVERYTHING when I'm in a shoot, so the only option for me really is this:

My trusty Camelbak H.A.W.G. (that's short for Holds A lot of Water and Gear)

I really love my Camelbak, since it can hold everything (plus it comes with a hydration pack in case I get thirsty). Never mind that I look like a dork and it usually clashes with my outfits, at least I don't have to worry about losing my stuff whenever I'm out since it's strapped to my back all the time. I'm actually pretty content with it. That is until I saw this:

The Balenciaga Giant Work bag in Baby Blue

I think that was the only time that I really fell in love with a bag. For me it has everything: gorgeous color and material, spacious enough to haul all my stuff and so fashionable that A-listers are huge fans:

Never leave home without it: La Lohan and Nicole Richie

As to be expected, the Giant Work bag costs an arm and a leg. Last time I checked, it was going for 1,825 USD (roughly Php 98,550). Seriously. That's like the price of a second-hand car. So I already accepted the fact that I will never be able to own one (unless I become a millionaire or something). Or settle for knock-offs. But I really don't want to do that.

So imagine my surprise when me and The Biker Boi went to the mall the other day and saw this at G-Force:

The Oakley Hotness Bag

I was never really an Oakley fan (though The Biker Boi is obsessed with it) but the Hotness made my heart skip a beat. Who knew Oakley was capable of producing a fashionable bag (since they're a sportswear brand)?! It looks like the Balenciaga Giant Work, but it's not really a knock-off--more like inspired by it. And the price almost made me wanna cry. It retails for 75 USD (around Php 3,375), that's 1,750 USD difference!

Just when I was about to get it, The Biker Boi stopped me and pointed out 3 reasons why I should hold off my purchase:

1. He thinks it still costs too much for a handbag.

2. It might be the "it" look now, but that might not be the case next year.

3. He wants me to wait for the Oakley sale next year coz I might be able to get it at half the price.

He did have a point, so I (reluctantly) returned the bag. I am after all, a reformed shop-a-holic. :D

But it's been days and I can't stop thinking about it, and staring at it at the Oakley website. Part of me wants to get it right now, but the other half is telling me to wait. So which part of me will win? Let's wait and see.

P.S. Christmas is around the corner and I've been good this year... Hopefully Santa will read my post and send me one? :D

missing my ex

2009-05-22T12:13:00.010+08:00

to some of you who don't know, i had a love affair with this guy ever since i was in first grade:

archibald "archie" andrews

*sigh* he's goofy, impulsive, sporty sweet, though not exactly good-looking (i always thought his best friend jughead is the cute one). though i had this "relationship" with him, i always had to compete with two other girls for his attention:

elizabeth "betty" cooper

she was the girl i always loved to hate, but couldn't coz she's the kindest, most intelligent girl ever. and she's pretty too, with her girl-next-door charm--blonde hair and blue eyes... i always wanted to be like betty. too bad she always played second fiddle to archie's other girl:

veronica "ronnie" lodge

the spoiled-little-rich-girl, who i hated when i was first introduced into the world of riverdale. but as i got to know her, i found out that she was just a lonely, misunderstood girl who craved for her dad's attention.

i always loved getting lost in archie's universe, especially with the whole archie, betty and veronica triangle. i always found it hilarious, and it was always my secret wish for archie to finally choose betty and for jughead to REALLY fall in love (though hopefully not to big ethel).

my archie mania came to a point where my comic book collection reached to the hundreds, when i used to buy 2-3 comic books every week (i so love booksale and their retro archie comics from the 70s for P30 each). sadly, i lost my collection when i was halfway through high school till college, when people who used to borrow my comics didn't return them. when my collection depleted to 5 pcs (from 148 pcs), i lost interest and broke up with my first love. it didn't help either when the original artist dan decarlo passed away and archie and the gang developed a new look:

archie's new look

these days, i would occasionally browse through them whenever i ran across a copy at the bookstore, but i just stopped buying and collecting them altogether. i always assumed that nothing would change in the world of riverdale: archie would still be confused between betty and veronica, jughead will forever hate girls, moose would always beat up reggie over midge... it was like a comfort to me to know that whatever happens, the riverdale gang would always stay the same as they did for the past 65 years.

that is why it was (still is) a shock to me when i opened my email and found this invitation from my old comic book club friends:

according to the press release, "this is the first of a 7-part series entitled archie gets married, and will be set after their college graduation, thus ending the eternal love triangle that has been the corner stone of the 65-year old comic."

i am still in shock with this piece of news and i'm not really sure if i'm actually happy about it. it's like the death of superman all over again--apocalyptic in comic book speak. because superman should never die, as archie and the riverdale gang should always be in high school and archie should always be confused between betty and veronica. somehow, this issue feels like it will be the last for archie and his friends...the ending.

i don't want archie's story to end, and i don't want him to get married. i will surely miss the epic triangle that has always amused me. but i know everyone must move on and settle down, even archie. i will surely miss him.

so who will it be, archie?
the clock is ticking...

spinnin' the black circle

2009-04-05T12:56:00.022+08:00

i have been sick with the flu for the past 2 days (trust me to be sick on the first day of a long weekend). bed-ridden and gulping down insane amounts of orange juice have caused me to watch all my unwatched dvds. i am officially bored. so i decided to go on a soundtrip with my beloved ipod:

right in the middle of listening to owner of a lonely heart, i suddenly missed old sounds: sound of the record player scratching on the surface of a vinyl record, the "noise" and the "crunch" that only comes from old LPs.

i know i was born at a time when cassette tapes were all the rage, but with my dad's vast vinyl collection, i grew up listening to old LP records, cause for me and my dad, the vinyl has a certain charm, a personality.

so what's a sick girl to do when you're bored and longing to hear old sounds? i decided to raid my dad's music library and here's what i found:

there were hundreds of LPs but i was in the mood for these.

...coz my dad is a yes man.

...and mum is a rasta.

i listened to debussy way before edward and bella popularized it...

my bestfriend isla gave me this record: she bought it in a garage sale in ras tanura

my dad told me i used to dance and shake my booty to this record when i was a toddler

and i saved the best for last..

the 4 magicians

yes, i am ready to go...

...on a magical mystery tour...

i feel better already. :)

inside the purple door

2009-03-28T12:57:00.022+08:00

i missed my childhood room. and since i badly needed a vacation, i decided to come home to my parent's house and hibernate inside my lalaland. my little piece off heaven. coz nothing bad ever happens in here.

so come on... step inside the purple door with me...

the gateway

my thinking corner, where all dreams are made

my shelves overflowing with books and magazines
(one day i will have my own private library where i can stow all these)

my guilty pleasures: rowling and kinsella

i have a thing for dolphins that's why i have a dolphin night light

oh, how i miss my beach bum days...

i love this mug so much that i'm scared to use it for my morning coffee

my trusty magic 8-ball that answered a lot of questions:
from dreams, to crushes to jobs (!)

i love stuff hanging from the ceiling

my dad's old night light from the 70's...

yes, i have a working disco ball in my room

i always wanted these curtains since i was little...

my antique dresser inherited from my grandma...

i have three closets to house all my girly-ness
(paint scratches courtesy of my dog, jet-ski)

1/8 of my shoe collection
(these are the ones i use on a lazy day)

my "media center" with all my unwatched dvds
(i intend to watch all of them today)

wind chimes to greet the summer breeze...

my grandmum always told me that happy bedsheets = happy dreams.
she gave me this floral bedsheet that reminds me of the wallpaper
inside quaint little parisian coffeeshops.

forgive me, but i will laze the whole day.

got my medical exam result and here's what it said:

2009-03-17T05:33:00.001+08:00

is "flabby" even a medical term?!
how come i have this feeling that my doctor was making fun of me?
oh well, i guess i have to start running the mill again...
(that is if i get enough discipline to wake up early everyday)
goodbye couch potato life!

iglesia ni chris tiu

2009-03-13T08:48:00.001+08:00

ang bago naming religion ni che.
sino ang sasapi? :)

the picture survey

2009-03-13T06:46:00.001+08:00

i grabbed this from aimee...
since i'm bored... enjoy! :)

1. a picture of you in your room

i just realized that i don't have a pic of me in my new manila room anywhere in cyberspace.
so this is me in my "other bedroom". this is what i look like pre-coffee first thing in the morning. :D

2. a picture with someone you don't really like

the fps class: sino kaya jan? hulaan niyo... hehe. :D

3. picture of you very drunk

...during gwen's debut party. it was the first time i actually rolled on the floor out of sheer drunkeness...

and when i'm drunk i hug everything and everyone including: friends, ex-boyfriends, teammates, the sink, the toilet bowl, trash cans...the list could go on...

4. a picture of you on your birthday, or favorite holiday

this was during my 24th birthday. ron surprised me with a dolphin swim in subic.
it was a dream come true. :)

5. the youngest picture you can find of yourself in digital form

i was already in 4th year college when digital pictures became the "in" thing.
and the first "digital camera" that i had was on my old cellphone.
so this is a pic of me when i was in college.

6. a picture of you in one of your favorite outfits

me in my favorite navy blue dress and white gladiators.
the dress is so comfy it feels like i'm wearing a t-shirt...and i looked girly!

7. a picture of you making a goofy face at the camera

during the solar antipolo christmas party '08.
i was on my way to getting drunk. haha! :)

8. a picture you miiiight have edited to make yourself look more attractive

i have a thing against editing pictures.
i have a "what you see is what you get" attitude when it comes to my pics.
so here's the next best thing: me editing my hairstyle!

9. a picture of a night you regret

as much as possible, i try to live my life without regrets.
but if there's one thing i do, is getting drunk stoopid on new year's eve,
and having a terrible migrane the morning after.

10. a picture of you truly being yourself

i love sleeping.
i can sleep anywhere: sa floor, inside a closet, in the car, on a chair...

11. the most recent picture of you

taken a few days ago, on my last day with etc :(

12. a picture of you being absolutely ridiculous

team etc during the obb shoot of chill spot seson 1 at enchanted kingdom.
we were working but that doesn't stop us from having fun! :)

13. a picture of you showing of your new haircut/color

i was a red-head once upon a time.

14. a picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't.

i really miss the college days with block b. *sigh*

15. a picture of a time in your life that's over, and you couldn't be more thankful that it is.

though i had the coolest job in the world being the event planner for rx 93.1,
it also brought me a lot of stress, heartaches, sleepless nights and tears.

16. a picture of you when you were anything but happy.

taken during lola's funeral.
i was trying my best to smile for the camera, but couldn't so the result is a wince.

17. a picture of you that you had no idea was being taken.

i was trying my best to remember the chords of smashing pumpkins' tonight, tonight during a jam session with ron. i thought he was fixing something in his computer.
my rockstar dad soooo loved this pic when he saw it. :)

18. a picture of you when you were a different person than you are now.

during enrollment at school.
back when i was so idealistic that i could change the world
(i know i still can, but i have yet to publish my book that will)

19. a picture of you with someone you love

with my two loves: ron and max (my iBook)
now if only my dogs jet-ski and boogie board were in this picture, then it would be complete!

20. a picture of how you'd like the world to see you.

a writer.
who will soon change the world.

21. a picture that describes how you'd like to spend every day.

if i had it my way, i would live by the beach and write all day.

22. a picture of a time when everything was changing.

our tagaytay roadtrip holy week of '07.
little did i know how drastic my life would change with just one trip.

23. a picture that makes your heart hurt

just thinking of all the beers i consumed during this party is making my head hurt...

24. a picture that makes your heart smile

my pride and joy, jet-ski.

25. A picture of one of the best days/nights of your life.

raw in manila with my favorite wrestling buddies!
front row tickets, john cena, and friends.
even a mutiny won't stop us!

everything i needed to know about life i learned from lola

2009-01-20T19:16:00.002+08:00

from lola i learned all the fun stuff:
how wrestling was the coolest sport in the world. when i was a kid, lola would always allow me and my brother deo to stay up late every wednesday night and watch wrestling with her. she would be screaming her head off as we watched our favorite wrestlers like bret "the hitman" hart beat up all the bad guys. she also took me to my first live wrestling show, manila mania, back in july '94. lola was the ultimate wrestling fan.

how reading comic books can get you into the habit of reading. lola gave me my first archie double digest back when i was 7 years old. being a voracious reader, she wanted to instill in me the habit of reading. and looking at my crammed bookshelf at home, i am glad to say she succeeded.

how dancing is the best form of self-expression. lola was an avid dancer, and when my parents first enrolled me in ballet class, she constantly pushed me to practice so i can improve, and didn't mind when i rearranged her living room furniture so that i'll have space to practice. she was the one who encouraged me to apply for a ballet scholarship, and was on my side when i tried to convince my dad to let me accept the scholarship. she was my personal cheerleader.

from lola i learned all the kikay stuff:

the importance of moisturizer. way before belo and botox, i would always watch lola religiously put pond's cold cream on her face every night. she always had supple, soft skin and i always thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

the importance of investing in good, quality shoes. those who read my old entries know that i got my shoe addiction from my lola. to this date, she has 150 pairs of shoes (i counted). she always dressed simply, but her shoes would always be kick-ass. peep-toe, embellished, stilettos... she had it all. and every shoe had its own story. from her wedding day pumps to the peep-toes she wore to have dinner with the president, she told me each and every story behind her marvelous collection. she was a shoe queen.

the wonders of mascara. when i was 12, lola gave me my very first mascara. she told me that i could forget the makeup, but i should never, ever leave home without mascara, because it could instantly open my eyes and brighten my face. hundreds of tubes later, i never forgot her advice.

from lola i learned the tough stuff:

to put myself first before any man. lola was a feminist, and she always taught me that i should always love myself and live my life for me. should i find a partner in life, she told me that i should not base my happiness solely on him. she always said: "nobody could make you happy but you."

to pursue my dreams. lola was a hairstylist and was proud of it. when i was little, she always told me stories on how she was the one who gave former ms. universe gloria diaz her first haircut, and how much she loved her career. she always told me to pursue my passions and always said: "do what you love, and never work a day in your life."

to forgive. lola was the strongest woman i know. there was a time when someone hurt her so bad, and yet i never saw her shed a tear. that is why i was surprised when i found out that she forgave the person who hurt her. when i asked her about it, she just smiled and said: "who am i not to forgive? no matter how grave the mistake, everyone deserves a second chance." she always saw the best in people.

before lola got sick, i used to have conversations with her about life and death. she told me that when she died, she wants to be buried in her oscar dela renta suit and her pearls, and at her funeral, she wants everyone to dress fashionably, as if "going to a party".

we said farewell to our shoe queen last saturday, january 17 at the heritage memorial park in taguig. following her request, we donned our best white outfits and i'm sure we made her proud:

channeling gossip girl: blair and chuck

carmela, sophia and apolonia

fider boys

batangas girls

la familia

if you believe,
you can make it much more than a dream,
when you believe you'll never die.

papa corks (the analog priest) said...

in times of death, we should be happy, because it is the beginning of eternal life.

papa bong (the techie priest) said...

death is not "parting"...it is a meeting, a meeting with God.

i imagine my lola is happy right now, proudly strutting the catwalks of heaven in her manolos.

meeko and me

2009-01-12T13:05:00.004+08:00

my mum just texted that my 2-year old lhasa apso, meeko, just died. i felt like i was doused in cold water as soon as i read her message. i am still shaking from shock and grief. i never expected that i would enter this kind of depression from the death of a pet.
of my three dogs, meeko was the most behaved. he would prefer to just lie around and sleep all day, unlike his two poodle brothers who are hyperactive. that's why we nicknamed him "the catatonic dog". but even if he was lazy, meeko was also the sweetest. he was always the first one to greet me whenever i came home, and would always climb my lap for some serious cuddling. and whenever he knew that i was about to leave the house, he would sit on my foot as if to say: "don't go." he was one sweet chubby furball.

now that he died, i don't know how i will be able to move on. it feels like there's a big hole in my heart that will never be filled with another dog. coz' no other dog will step on my foot like he does. no other dog will lick my face like he does. no other dog will ever be like meeko.

i miss you already, meeko.

tommorrow's the future, tonight's the party!

2008-12-31T22:14:00.004+08:00

as we bid "ta-ta!" to 2008 and say "bonjour!" to 2009,
let me say thank you to everyone who made my year a crazy one.

a year of discoveries...
of challenges...
laughter...
and love...
2008 was indeed a year for the books!

with every end, there's always a new beginning.
i am definitely looking forward for tomorrow.
let the party begin!

let the countdown begin!

2008-10-07T17:01:00.003+08:00

suffering from ocd - obsessive cullen disorder

2008-09-14T15:41:00.006+08:00

this is the reason why i have been neglecting my blog for the past few weeks. i am hooked on the twilight saga. or addicted, as my boyfriend likes to describe it.

i actually didn't plan on reading the twilight saga. even if most of my friends were hooked on it when it first came out, i didn't plan on reading it coz in all honesty, vampires didn't really appeal to me. but when i came across the books on ebay, which were selling for a mere Php 1,000 for all four books, i thought, what the hell, might as well see what the fuss was all about.

2 weeks and four and a half books later, i am completely sold on the whole cullen universe. i just can't seem to put it down! i keep reading and re-reading the whole series, and i even downloaded the outtakes and first few chapters of the foiled midnight sun from stephenie meyer's website. i just can't get enough of edward and bella!

though the series wasn't perfect (as the case of breaking dawn), i was amazed at how stephenie was able to let us imagine and fantasize about her whole fictional universe. the series made me wish i was bella and that edward was real. i envy at how stephenie was able to make this all possible.

but now that the whole series is done, midnight sun is on hold, i am now looking forward to my next cullen fix- the twilight movie coming out in november! i can't wait.

what kind of animal are you?

2008-08-11T10:30:00.001+08:00

if i were to become an animal, i would be a dolphin.
playful. fun. but most of all,
intelligent.

it's all about the drama

2008-08-09T18:15:00.003+08:00

friends have come from afar, how happy we are.
-- confucius

i am drying my tears as i write this entry. because i had just finished watching the opening ceremonies of the 2008 beijing olympics. i guess i was so moved by the theatrics of the whole thing--guys running up and down the wall of the bird's nest and everything. ron still couldn't understand why i'm making this event such a big deal. i just told him: "who doesn't love a big production number?"

the whole olympics fever is all over our office. probably because our network has the exclusive rights for the coverage and everyone is busy doing olympics-related inspirational plugs and stuff. well, except our team, because we're pretty much preoccupied with our season premiere next month. but that doesn't mean i'm not looking forward to the following:

michael phelps. i think he's hot.
not just because he has killer abs and shoulder blades,
but because he was named the fastest man on water.
now how cool is that?

synchronized swimming.
i love ballet and i love the water.
and synchronized swimming is, ballet on water.
need i say more?

rhythmic gymnastics.
i wonder how these girls manage not to get tangled in all that ribbon.
and i always marvel at the grace and beauty these gymnasts have.
plus it reminds me (again) of ballet.

ah yes. the beauty of sports. too bad my folks didn't encourage me to pursue a sport (and pushed ballet instead). i would have loved to train and be an olympian.

on second thought, athletes always have to wake up insanely early to train...so maybe not. i'll just leave the physical stuff to the pros and just stick to watching them. i can't wait.

bei jing huan ying ni everyone!

damn you steve jobs!

2008-08-09T04:05:00.002+08:00

because i have been lusting over the white 3g iphone for months now. it would look so perfect with my ibook and ipod. *seesh* i can be such a geek sometimes.

why does apple have to create so many cool stuff that ordinary human beings would love to have, but then have to pay and arm and a leg for? it. is. so. unfair.

i have been contemplating about buying the iphone when it first came out, but then i convinced myself not to because of the following reasons:

1. it is very expensive for a phone. i mean, paying 20+k for a phone? i would understand a pricey notebook or a camera, but a phone is just so impractical. besides, i heard the built-in camera wasn't that good.

2. it is not supported locally. the original iphone did not officially come out here in the philippines, but it was still available courtesy of our trusty greenhills and our friendly neighborhood smugglers. i wasn't comfortable with that set-up and i wanted my iphone (if i do purchase one) to be legal with my service provider.

3. it's not production-friendly. since my work heavily relies on texting clients and the crew back and forth for shoots, its keyboard-less setup is quite hard for me, since it makes it close to impossible to text someone at lightning speed. which means i would always end up calling everyone, which will take my already sky-high phone bill to the roof.

so i was content and happy with my trusty nokia when apple suddenly announced the birth of the 3g iphone a few months ago--meaning it is a new and improved version of the iphone and it comes in white. it didn't help either that globe suddenly announced that they are officially distributing the 3g iphone here in the philippines late this year.

that is so not good because now i want one. i want. i want. i want one!!!

and so i begin. again.

2008-08-08T09:15:00.001+08:00

i originally wanted to start with a clean slate; a new layout, erase the old entries and have a new web address. because so many things have happened in my life--good and bad, that i felt i needed a fresh new start. for the fresh new me.

but then i figured that even if i try to erase my past and "start anew", my past will still be my past and no amount of deleting can change that, for it has shaped who i am now. like it or not, it is and will always be a part of me.

so the blog stays as it is--with a spankin' new layout (coz i got tired of my old one). i hope you guys will like it as much as i do.

welcome to the chaotic world of the official drama queen... where there's always so much drama, and so little time.

So SHOE ME!

2006-11-09T20:32:00.001+08:00

On my iPod: Do You Think I’m Sexy by Paris Hilton

I recently realized that I am addicted to shoes. I was cleaning my place the other day and I decided to count the pairs of shoes that I owned and guess how many pairs I have? Fifty. No joke. Fifty pairs. One hundred pieces of shoes.

I was talking to my guy best friend a while ago and he said that I needed help. I know he was kidding, so I just told him: “It’s a girl thing.” Which got me to thinking: What is it with women and shoes?

My eyes were first opened to shoes at the age of 5, when I saw my grandmum’s shoe closet. It was like heaven to me, imagine, floor to ceiling closet full of shoes a’la In Her Shoes. Right then and there I promised to myself that when I grow up, I’m gonna have a closet just like that. Hence, 18 years and fifty pairs of shoes later, I now have a problem. No wonder my place always looks cluttered.

I was talking to my mum a week ago and she suggested that I move to a bigger place that has a spare room that I can dedicate to my shoes. As tempting as it sounds, I quickly pointed to her that is no way I could afford a bigger place.

But recently, I got inspired and I thought of a solution to my shoe problem. Since Christmas is around the corner, I would… (drumroll please) donate all the shoes that I haven’t worn in 6 months to those who will need it most. I think it would be a rewarding (but hard) experience for me (since I have grown attached to my collection). But hey, it would be so much cheaper than seeing a shrink.

P.S. – Shortly after I wrote this, I went to the mall and saw a big bold sign that read: SHOE SALE… and I ended up buying three pairs. Goes to show that there is indeed an Imelda in all of us.

Bitchy Mondays

2006-11-07T12:20:00.001+08:00

On my iPod: I’m Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage

I’m sure you all had a day like this: woke up late, you’re having a bad hair day, forgot your cellphone in your locked house, then you realized that you forgot your house keys, forgot to charge your iPod, then you realize that you forgot the charger (again, inside your locked house) and traffic is killer on your way to the office. And it’s just 9:23 in the morning.

Gosh. You would think because I am 20-something I should (at least) get my act together. But the thing is, I am still as messed up as I was when I was fresh out of college. And it has been 3 years. Which makes me wonder: Is there really such a thing as getting your act together?

I used to bitch about hating my job, wanting to move on, being financially independent and coming home to an empty house. At the time I was in a deep, dark place… I was lost. Now that I finally have a job that I love, I am (more or less) financially independent and I have two wonderful poodles to come home to, I still feel that my life is a mess. I look at my place and it’s one big mess.

Those who have been to my place—I know what you guys are thinking. I should do a spring clean overhaul one of these days. My mom actually thinks I should have a separate bedroom just for my shoes and bags (she said that after opening my closet one day and all my bags avalanched on top of her). Kidding aside, I guess that’s what makes me me. You know, the whacked, crazy and carefree me. Sure, I would love to be all OC-ish like my best friend, Isla (the woman lives on E-Z store boxes, I’m telling you) but then I think about it, it’s so not my style. I’m bohemian, cluttered, with all those “artistic mess” crap that I’ve been telling my mom since I was 12 (“Honey, you’re a dancer, not a painter!”). But it also made me think: maybe I am not as grown up as I think. It’s true that I am living the life that I had always envisioned since I was a kid, but in a lot of ways, I am still a kid. Cartoon-watching, PS2-playing, Cocoa Puffs-eating kid. And I still have a long way to go. God, I hate Mondays.

i'm baaack!

2006-11-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

i'm baaack!

believe me. with my new schedule, i usually end up dead tired whenever i get home. don't get me wrong, i love my job and everything, but sometimes, it's just dead tiring. especially the commute. so that is my big excuse for not posting for the longest time. anyway, since i have done most of my things in my to do list here---->

i therefore promise to update this little blog of mine regularly. so there.

thank god it's friday...

2006-06-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

thank god it's friday...

on my ipod: everybody's changing by keanne

whew. what a week. it's finally a friday, and boy, am i exhausted! technically, my week is not over yet, as i still have one last script due tonight. but' i'm putting it hold for a few hours as i recharge. i must have fried my brain while sitting on the computer the whole day doing my research and writing scripts, plus, i still have my shoot and editing schedules for next week. all this and we haven't started season 5 yet... whoever said that our show is on "season break" this month must be kidding. hehe. but, despite the stress, i'm having a blast, coz i am finally doing what i love.

speaking of, we finally shot our season 5 obb, and what a riot! if you have no clue, picture this: 3 dogs, sam and a bunch of stuffed animals in the studio. the dogs were all over the place that we had no choice but to put on their leashes while doing the whole shoot. but the pictures turned out ok and my babies looked really cute. ok, now i must quit my "stage mother" mode. but i got to watch the finished obb a while ago and i have to say, it rocked! it looked pretty good for a 30-seconder obb, and now i am so psyched to see the finished first episode (that is, if we can finish all our shoots and editing on time).

so now i'm here, with 2 full days and nothing to do. but who's complaining? after a week's hard work, boredom might be what the doctor ordered.

confessions of a rock heiress

2006-06-18T14:50:00.000+08:00

confessions of a rock heiress

on my ipod: i love you by saigon kick

i have to say, i have the coolest dad. growing up, i didn't quite understand why he didn't have a normal 9-5 job like all those dads out there. you see, my dad's a musician, and he usually works at night. as a kid, whenever my friends ask me what my dad does for a living, i always tell them that my dad's a music teacher (which is also true), to save me the whole litany of what musicians actually do.

growing up, he didn't encourage us to take up sports like most dads do. instead, he exposed us to the arts. as early as 5 years old, i was taking up ballet, jazz, voice, piano and theatre. i was more familiar with bands like yes, beatles, led zeppelin and jimi hendrix. instead of reading us fairytales to bed, he told us stories like how the beatles was formed or the plot of jesus christ superstar. he didn't stress on us having good grades, instead he always told us how important it is to use our talents. i always loved it whenever i went with him on his gigs (i was already going on gimmicks as early as 7 years old), i got to sit in the front and their singer would always dedicate a song for me, "their bassist's daughter." although he wouldn't sing whenever i was there.

in high school, he was the dad everyone wished they could have. he wanted us to be independent, so basically he let us do whatever we wanted, but of course with boundaries. he allowed me to go out on gimmicks as long as i'm home before my 5 am curfew. he allowed me to date and have a boyfriend as early as 13, as long as "it's not a serious relationship." when i told him that i formed an all-girl band with my friends with me as the bassist, he was beyond thrilled. he was so excited that i woke up one morning and he presented me with the coolest guitar-- a 5-string, musicman stingray. i didn't know much about guitars then, so he just told me, "that's a pretty good guitar; sheryl crow has the same one." he took me to concerts all the time, from alanis morissette to michael jackson, to "expose me to different genres of music" (that's what he told my mum).

he was totally supportive when i told him i would be working part-time for mtv when i was in 2nd year college so as to "have an edge in the real world." being in the music video industry, it was normal for me to bump into him in gigs and events, so often that everyone started to call me as "lally, the bassist's kid". it didn't bother me being classified as such, i mean, how many dads out there who would actually know what linkin park is and who could actually argue as to why christina aguilera was more talented than britney spears?

nowadays, my dad has mellowed down from the whole band scene. he still has a band and has gigs, but not as much as before; instead, he prefers to concentrate more on producing albums for his recording company. our usual bonding sessions now consists of coffee and cigarettes (much to my mum's dismay) while i help him mix tracks for the latest album he's producing.

yes, he's not your usual tie-wearing, basketball-playing dad. he's my chucks and distressed jeans-wearing, bass guitar-playing, comic book-collecting dad. and in case you're wondering what i now say whenever someone asks me what my dad does for a living? i just give them a big smile and say: "my dad's a rockstar."

happy father's day popsee. you're the coolest. :-)

i'm sorry

2006-05-30T16:06:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry

on my ipod: all apologies by nirvana

for jeffro...

thank you. for hanging out with me when we went on an impromptu trip to baguio. for going on all those movie marathons with me. for watching (or sleeping through) the phantom of the opera with me. for helping me break down my locker when i stupidly left the keys inside. for cooking me breakfast (even if it was dinnertime already). for going on all those shopping trips with me. for keeping me company when i was depressed. for encouraging me on my job interviews. for making me laugh when i twisted my ankle. for letting me raid your dvd collection. for sharing your secrets to me. for understanding my complex personality. for being patient with me. for all the fun rimando times.

i'm sorry. for disappearing when i did. for misunderstanding you. for not being true. for not being there when you needed me. for not explaining stuff clearly when you needed me to. for being such a drama queen. for being a flake. for not being a true friend. for being an emotional midget. for all the times that i have hurt you.

my childhood hero

2006-03-31T10:02:00.000+08:00

my childhood hero

on my ipod: daughter by pearl jam

"in this world we live in, everybody needs a hero."
- aunt mae, spiderman 2

there was a time when i was about 7 years old, my grandmum allowed me to stay up late to watch t.v. with her. being an avid wrestling fan that she was, we ended up watching WWF Superstars. that's when i first saw my childhood hero.

he caught my attention at first not because he was such an extraordinary wrestler, because at that time i can't tell the difference from a good wrestler to a bad one—but because he was wearing pink and black tights—a colour that most men consider feminine. from that time on, i was hooked, i was hooked on wrestling, and i was hooked on a man that most people know as bret "the hitman" hart.

i soon learned that he was a really good technical wrestler. he didn't use brawn like most big guys during his time, and he didn’t use high-flying impressive moves. he relied on strategy and most of the time he psyched his opponents so bad most of the time they didn't know what hit them.

but the best thing that i liked most about bret is that he is a genuine, all around-good guy. he wasn’t preachy-preachy like hulk hogan with catchy taglines. he was just an ordinary man who was just vocal about his beliefs and values, simply because he has kids himself and he just wants to set a good example. simply put, he is "the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be," and encourages everyone to do the same. i guess you could say that he inspired me in so many ways and it was his influence why i tried so hard in school and was able to get a degree and got to where i am today. he is indeed the "excellence of execution."

i guess one thing that i regret was that i didn’t get to meet him personally when he went here for manila mania back in july of ’94. but i did get to watch him and i met his late brother, owen. at that time, that experience was enough for me.

on saturday, april 1st, my hero will take his rightful place in the wwe hall of fame. in his words, the induction will serve as a "closure for his controversial wwe career." for hitman fans like me, i’m just glad to see him one more time.

x marks the spot

2006-03-31T03:52:00.000+08:00

x marks the spot

Put an X in the boxes that apply to you.

[x] I am 18+
[] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have parents that are still together
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses/contacts.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[] have them in places besides my ears.
[] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life.
[] I've sworn at my parents.
[] My biological parents are together.
[] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[] I've had children.
[] I've lost a child.

School/Work.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[] I failed more than 1 class last year
[] I've stolen something from my job
[] I've been fired.

Embarrassment.
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] I've had my pants rip in public
[x] I get embarassed easliy

Health.
[] I was born with a disease/ impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches
[x] I've broken a bone
[] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office/emergency room with a friend
[] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I had a serious surgery.
[] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[] I've been to Canada.
[] I've been to Mexico.
[] I've been to Florida.
[] I've been to Jamaica.
[] I've been to the Bahamas.
[] I've been to Europe.
[] I've been to Africa.
[] I've been to the Dominican Republic
[] I've been to Puerto Rico

Experiences.
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a star.
[x] I've wished on a star.
[] I've seen a meteor shower.
[] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I've kicked a guy in the nuts
[x] I've been to a birthday party
[] I've been skydiving.
[] I've gone skinny-dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've crashed a car
[] I've been snowboarding
[x] I've been in a play.
[] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[] I've been skiing.

Relationships.
[] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship
[] I'm engaged.
[] I'm married
[x] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.

Honesty/Crime.
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've ran a red light.
[] I've been suspended from school
[] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[] I regularly drink.
[x] I've passed out from drinking.
[x] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[] I have cough drops when I'm not sick
[] I can't swallow pills.
[] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've woken up crying.

Materialism.
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player
[] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books
[x] I own something from The Gap
[] I own something I got on e-bay
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random.
[x] I can sing well when I'm not in front of people.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[] I don't kill bugs.
[] I am a morning person.
[] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[] I'm a snob about grammar.
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[] I have "x"s in my screen name
[] I love being neat
[x] I love Spam
[x] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[x] I bake well
[] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, black, red or blue
[] I've worn pajamas to school.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at things most people wouldn't find funny.
[] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate
[x] I bite my nails
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[x] I'm good at remembering names.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

invasion of designer pooches

2006-03-27T16:02:00.000+08:00

invasion of designer pooches

on my ipod: summertime by moonpools and catterpillars

I smell the sun, the sand and the waves... It's officially summer! Yeaaaaah!

Anyway, I ended up meeting with my college friends with our "pooches" yesterday at Tiendesitas. It's been a while since I went out and boy, did I get surprised. It seems like everyone had the latest bling: designer dogs to match their owner's designer frocks. I mean, everywhere I looked there were Jack Russel terriers in Louis Vuitton carriers, shitzus in Tiffany dog collars and pugs drinking Evian from their doggie bowls. And everyone says we're a third world country. It just amazes me how some people would go to lengths to spoil their beloved pooches, if only these dogs knew how spoiled they really were. I guess its under the influence of Ms. Hilton and The Simple Life, but hey, they are man's best friend, right?

life lessons

2006-03-13T14:07:00.000+08:00

life lessons

on my ipod: Kill by Jimmy Eat World

In the past few months, I experienced a lot of failures in my life. Some of them are quite funny, and all of them are a learning experience for me. I guess you could say that these failures changed my outlook in life in general. For someone who has a fear for failure, these changes seem hard to accept, especially the fact that I am only human and most things that are happening are beyond my control. All I can do is just embrace it and live life.

Life lesson #1: Learn the value of friendship.

Ever since the start of the year, I have been totally wrapped up in my own world that I forgot my friends. I fell out of touch with most of them and I had a fall out with some. I made it part of my New Year’s resolution to get in touch again with them and patch things up with those who I had hurt. I’m slowly getting there.

Last February 4, I spent 2 days in Puerto Galera with my friends, just us, with no significant others. It was the first time in almost 3 years that I did something without my boyfriend there, and for the first time in years, I felt totally free. We totally had a blast, just lounging at the beach and drinking to: “long life, good looks and happy sex.” Despite the fact that the boat on our way back to civilization almost sunk and we were stuck in the middle of the shark-infested open sea, it was a total bonding experience for us.

Then two weeks after that, it was the big day for me and the 'ol wrestling crew. It was RAW in Manila for 2 days, February 24-25, and I felt a sudden rush of déjà vu. It seemed like yesterday when I was a 10-year old kid when I watched wrestling for the first time with my wrestling buddy Cha. Twelve years later, here we are again, in the same arena, with another wrestling event, but with better seats (we spent all our holiday bonuses ringside seats, but it was worth it). This time though, we had a new cast, it was me, Cha, her siblings Carmen and Carlo, and the "Tres Amigos": my boyfriend Brian, his friend Maddy and my favorite person in the world, Bab. The show was totally fun (proof of it is I lost my voice for 3 days), but I'm just glad that even after 12 years, some things just never change.

Life lesson # 2: Nobody could make you happy but you.

Someone sent me this message a while ago: "Life is full of contradictions. Sometimes it's crazy to be sane, you need to fall to fly, people suffer because you care. You have to unlearn to know the lesson, you have to give up because you are strong, you have to be wrong to make things right. Nonetheless, life's complexities are also life's source of beauty. We should cry to laugh again, fall apart to be whole again and get hurt to love again." It really got to me because that just summarized what I went through for the past year.

I grew up feeling that I always had something to prove, be it career, relationships and life in general. I always put a lot of pressure to myself, till I finally reached my breaking point. And when the I-can't-take-it-anymore feeling came, I had to let go, losing myself in the process.

Early last year marked the end of my what-could-have-been-flourishing media career. It was a very difficult decision for me to do, since it was something that I envisioned myself doing ever since I was a kid. But when I was finally there, I felt that I was in the point of no return, and I was suffocated, making those around me miserable as well, so I walked away. Walking away and giving up is something I do not like to do, but the pain felt less because I knew I always had Brian to support me.

Then just this year, as Brian and I are celebrating our 3rd year together, we decided to call it quits. It came as a shock to everyone around us, since we were labeled as the "perfect" couple. But we came to the point where we weren't growing as individuals instead we're becoming too dependent on each other. Although we're not closing any doors to the possibility that we might get back together in the future, for now, we're on our own.

So now, here I am. I don't have anything that most people consider to be the definition of success: career and a stable relationship. But for the first time in my life, I feel totally free. I am not completely happy with my life; I am still in the process of finding myself but for now, I'm OK.

Life lesson # 3: People change, even you.

I just thought about this a few days ago, when I was talking to my old high school buddy Carlo. Whenever you talk to your old friends, tendency is you reminisce about the past and laugh about stuff that you did back then. That's when I realized that I am not the same Lally that I was back then.

Gone is the scrawny 12-year old kid who tries to juggle school with ballet with dreams of being the star of The New York Ballet Theatre. Gone is the self-conscious high school cheerleader who worries about passing Advanced Algebra, snagging a hot prom date and finding the perfect prom gown. Gone is the workaholic college girl who is trying to figure out how to balance her schedule of cheerleading practice, theatre practice, thesis proposal and part-time job while securing a really impressive job after graduation. Gone is the proud Events Planner who thinks highly of herself because at 19, she thinks she already accomplished a lot and the only thing that is missing is for her to finish her Master's degree as a ticket to being the head honcho before she's 25.

When I look at myself in the mirror, sometimes I can barely recognize myself. I am still me, but in a way, I'm not. I have matured, learned a lot of things and have a different outlook in life. I am still in the process of figuring out what I want, how to achieve it and be completely happy. The things that seemed important to me in the past doesn't seem so important to me anymore. Sometimes I wish I could go back, but then, I wouldn't be this person now if not for the mistakes and experiences that I had in the past.

The last couple of months served as a wake-up call for me. It wasn't fun, to be honest, to be heartbroken, giving up something and rebuild yourself. But as they always say: "Its not how many times you fall, but its how you pick up yourself and move on." I fell, now I'm picking up the pieces and walking again…wearing my hot pink Jimmy Choo stilettos of course.

kung hei fat choy!

2006-01-30T17:53:00.000+08:00

kung hei fat choy!

on my ipod: with arms wide open by creed

kung hei fat choi everyone! it's officially the year of the dog! i know i haven't updated this blog in 3 months, but i have a pretty good excuse: my internet service provider is totally whacked. that, and i have been pretty busy the past few months because of all the holiday stuff that has been going on. but i promise i'll try my very best to make a weekly update from now on.

so i had a pretty good chinese new year. despite my mum's protests that i won't be celebrating the chinese new year with my family, she understood that i need to help my bud jino's short film as we have a deadline 2 months from now. so there we were, in the windy city of tagaytay (i think jino was just making the film as an excuse for us to go out of town) with madman, migs, xerxes, janice, mikey, brian and i ended up sleeping half the day. can you blame me? i came straight from work and yoga class, i was so tired that i zonked out the moment i sat down in the van. besides, everyone was kinda lazy anyway, instead of shooting, we ended up playing smackdown vs. raw 2006 and having a chick flick marathon (despite the guys' protests of course). it's funny how some things never change. And as for the shoot, there's always next week, but for now, we'll just enjoy our buy one-take-one starbucks frappes.

effects of caffeine overdose

2005-11-11T04:37:00.000+08:00

effects of caffeine overdose

on my ipod: you should have known better by monica

as you guys all know, i still have no clue as to what i am doing. what's worse, i am suffering from caffeine overdose as i write this (that's what i get for drinking 5 tall cups in one day, damn those peppermint mochas!). so if you think this entry is jumpy, has no sense or is way pointless, you know the reason.

i actually asked for an intervention. my really good friend and official "shrink" alex and i met up the other day and discussed all my psych and emotional problems, and the necessary steps that i need to take. in between hot peppermint mochas and frappuccinos, he discussed to me with a level head that i have in fact a still-normal life with normal problems a regular 22-year old would have. although i am quite old for the job that i have right now (why did i even consider a "career" in this field is beyond me), i am still young for the career path that i wish to take (which is in media). although he told me that if i want to make a difference in my life, i have to do it NOW and i have to do the first step--which is to find out what i really what i want to do in life (which is writing, i think) and apply,apply, apply. so here i am, at work and looking at job searches while i'm at it. whoever said starting over is hard wasn't kidding. but i'm TRYING. i'm actually TRYING to:

1. have the courage to apply even though i've been out of circulation for over a year;

2. get up from the mistakes and bad career moves i made in the past 3 years;

3. rebuild my life and redefine my goals;

4. find out what really is my passion in life;

5. not to breakdown and cry although it is so much easier to do so.

alex knows me too well. he knows that when i say: "i'm trying," i'm actually not trying that hard. so part of my TRYING list is TRYING REALLY REALLY HARD. i must be really messed up.

goals in life

2005-11-08T11:50:00.000+08:00

goals in life

on my ipod: emotion by destiny's child

nothing to say today, actually. i'm having a bad day at work (as usual). i really, really want to quit my job, and go back to my industry. what is stopping me is my bills, the fact that my salary will be on hold for a month, and all those crap. i must really save up if i want to change careers. and i have to do it asap.

i know it's bad, but i so envy my college buddy. she just resigned from her bank job and got a career at events. and to think she has been on her past job for 2 years already whereas i can't even hold a job for more than a year. i must really do some serious thinking.

so, i created goals for myself. i have a total of 13 goals so far, which i will update from time to time as i am assessing what i want to do in my life. i hope to accomplish everything by next year (although there are some really long term goals). wish me luck guys...

by the way, you could see my goals here at the sidebar------------------>

desiderata: new version

2005-11-07T07:12:00.000+08:00

desiderata: new version

on my ipod: youth of the nation by POD

wow. i'm updating my blog like crazy. i must be really bored with my life. personal note to self: look for a career asap. anyway, i saw this new version of Desiderata (this is not the one by Max Ehrman, by the way) i'm not a real religous person, but with all the stuff that's happening in my life right now, i think it fits, so there. credit goes to shell-shell since i saw this in her blog. :-)

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry for the wrong reasons.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old
enough and know better.

Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won,
only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy, a cat or a bunny.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends,
nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry. Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot. Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except God.

It is true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

flashback...

2005-11-07T04:18:00.000+08:00

flashback...

on my ipod: stupid girl by garbage

i just realized today that mum was right. that no matter what everyone says, when you get out of school, cliques or the whole popularity thing doesn't matter. what matters is what you do after graduation.

i met up with my old college friend jeanne this morning. it was pure coincidence, i went up to our building's deck to smoke when, lo and behold, there she was about to go for a dip. i never realized that we are neighbors! we ended up spending the whole afternoon together just bonding. she's also going through a tough breakup (is this the season of heartbreak?) so we were just ranting about exes, failed relationships and life.

the funny thing is jeanne and i were never that close in college. sure, we were in the cheerleading squad together and there was that one intro to comm class where we produced our own talk show. but we were never really in the same circle of friends. i hung out with the "socialites" (those people who partied hard and went out almost everyday, even on a school night) whereas she hung out with the "pop girls" (insanely popular modelesque girls who always made the dean's list. in short: perfect). but there we were, talking and laughing like old friends catching up with the latest scandals of our batchmates (like who got pregnant, went to the us and the like) and what we're doing right now (she just finished an underwater shoot for a european calendar whereas i still have no idea what to do with my life). we ended up making plans to go to embassy for the weekend.

i guess after 2 years of graduation, your gpa or popularity doesn't really matter. when you see someone from your old world, it's such a relief to know that you are not the only one struggling in this mad, mad world.

reflections on a bad day

2005-11-06T03:11:00.000+08:00

reflections on a bad day

on my ipod: underneath it all by gwen stefani

my day is just starting and already i'm having a really bad day. to start off, i just found out that my major crush just got engaged last month. then our friendly neighborhood starbucks is closed so i can't get my usual morning dose of java. and to think i'm working on a weekend! some things are just not fair.

this horrible mood got me thinking though. about my purpose why i'm putting up with this job that has no relation whatsoever to my career path. i mean, right now, i don't have a career. i have a job. a high paying job, yes, but it's doing nothing for the self-gratification shit that i'm so into when i was still fresh out of college. what the hell happened?

i know the answer to that. stress happened. there i was, in a job that has been the envy of my batchmates, but then, i wasn't happy as i was when i was still a working student for mtv. i wanted a job that i would really enjoy, as my college professor once put it: "do a job that you love and you would never have to work a day in your life." and so i quit. and a couple of wrong career moves later, here i am, in a job that i never would have even dreamed of considering back then.

it sucks because i'm actually missing my old life, my old career. i want to go back, but i don't know where to start. it has been a year since i have been exposed to the media industry, and i'm kinda scared of reentering that world again. because i'm not that young anymore. and there is always some fresh grad out there who is better than me.

but that little voice inside me keeps screaming to me: "to hell with your fears!" i mean, i was always fearless when it comes to important decisions in life. what happened to that woman? i guess since i am older, i have more responsibilities now than i did then. which makes this decision a lot harder than it seems. but i know i have to do this if i want to have the peace of mind and the self-gratification that i'm seeking. i know i have to start now and walk away from this life. and as scared as i am, i know i have to. not for anybody else but me.

relationships and then some

2005-11-05T10:35:00.000+08:00

relationships and then some

on my ipod: no woman no cry by bob marley

the big breakup. three words that mean a lot of things: broken hearts, messy fights and a lot of tears. we all have different coping styles whenever we experience a big breakup. some cry their hearts out and bash everything about prince charming until his whole being would reduce to a frog. others will pig out. my personal choice is to shop my heart out and get a makeover. but whenever coping style one would chose, there is always one goal: to forget the past and move on.

it's a cliche, isn't it? the whole love thing. the cycle is always the same: you meet someone, fall in love, have a major fight, breakup & move on. then repeat. i mean, for those out there who has already experienced a breakup or has an idea of what a broken heart feels like, why bother to experience the whole process again but this time with a different partner? it makes me wonder why we humans are programmed to think that we will only be happy if we have someone.

i know my outlook is very "down with love"-like. but i really do believe that we really don't need someone to make us truly happy. because no one will ever love us more but ourselves. so why delegate the task to someone who will eventually break your heart?

my advice to everyone out there who is currently experiencing a heartbreak is to not look for love. no one will ever make you happy but you. wipe your tears, go out and do something that you really love not for anybody else but you. may it be travel, shop or a make over. now that the biggest thorn of your life is gone, it's time to celebrate life. and you'll be surprised to think why you haven't done it before.

just for fun!

2005-10-17T06:11:00.000+08:00

just for fun!

i saw this on mommy brain and i wanted to try it out for kicks. what you are supposed to do is to go to google images and post the first image when you enter the following stuff:

* the name of the town where you grew up
* the name of the town where you live now
* your name
* your grandmother's name
* your favorite food
* your favorite drink
* your favorite song
* your favorite smell

i grew up in kowloon city, hong kong before my parents decided to move back to their home country. this pic is a few blocks away from our pad.

i just moved last week from quezon city to makati. the perks: i'm right at the center of the business and fashion district. downside: sky-high rent that matches the sky-high condos.

i decided to use my legal name for this search the picture of carmela gallace of the academy of ballet arts came up. what a coincidence. :-)

my grandmum pita was named after a food. yum.

i could eat this for breakfast, lunch & dinner.

christmas season = peppermint mocha!

i have a million favorite songs, but what i'm listening to right now is brighter than sunshine by aqualung.

i know it's kinda weird, but i like the smell of old books.

like carrie, if you want to post this in your own blog, send me a message so i can also check it out. :-)

.:.50 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew.:.

2005-10-07T07:15:00.000+08:00

.:.50 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew.:.

i think this is quite interesting...although i may not agree with some of them (specifically the no smoking part) LOL...

01. you have to tell a girl how you feel about her.. we make no assumptions.
02. it never hurts to work out.. take your own advice.
03. girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys.
04. not all girls masturbate.. we just don't and no we are not lying.
05. we hate porn.
06. hmm.. guys in Jeeps.. yummm..
07. girls need food, water, and compliments to survive.
08. we think about you all the time.
09. being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.
10. we may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis.
11. hold our hand.
12. no backseat drivers.. NONE.
13. girls generally don't like giving head, so you better be ready to reciprocate if and when you get it.
14. we are not your all-night restaurant.
15. anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us.
16. if you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed.. especially if it's a stick.
17. under no circumstances will we have a threesome.
18. you look hot in hooded articles of clothing.
19. if you think for any reason that we don't like you then we probably don't.
20. having us over while you and your friends play video games does not count as "quality time".
21. just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis does not mean we're high maintanance.
22. never comment on how much a girl eats.. ever.
23. keep in mind that we withold sex when we're mad at you, so you might wanna get around to apologizing...
24. you just can't force us to like sports.. especially those associated with the NBA.
25. we're typically smarter than you.. so get over it and stop whining when we get paid better than you.
26. if you do not own a wife-beater, stop reading this list, and go invest in one.. right now.
27. the ability to play the guitar will help you get laid.
28. we're sorry, brad pitt just IS hot.. get over it!!!
29. walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.
30. just because we're in a serious relationship doesn't mean we plan to marry you someday, so stop being so damn scared!!!
31. if you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.
32. anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.
33. if we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same.
34. the excuse "i can't dance" is unacceptable.. we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.
35. on that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys.. and lots of them.
36. think before you speak.. it'll make a world of difference.
37. not all girls kiss on the first date, get over it.. we're creatures of mystery.
38. make fun of our clothes.. prepare to die.
39. we don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer every once in a while.
40. tell us we're beautiful.
41. the "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest.
42. foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for.. it's a prerequisite.
43. don't screw us over.. especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends.. they will hunt you down and kill you.
44. if you're gonna look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you do it.
45. just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc.
46. no girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits".
47. we're sensitive too. .be gentle (and we're not talking about our hearts here guys).
48. one word when it comes to smoking.. quit.
49. we reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.
50. if we happen to be pissed off whenever you're late, please understand that we had to get ready early just to look good AND be on time.

the little bug that could

2005-07-26T07:51:00.000+08:00

in all its powder glory: westie my beetlebum

my dad recently gave me an ultimatum. it's either i have my '67 beetle fixed or it's the end of life for my beloved westie. so, i had no choice but to call my mechanic to get an estimate on my baby so he can run again.

i received my first car when i turned 16. there it was, sitting on my dad's garage, a 1967 volkswagen beetle the morning of my birthday. it looked like it had been previously used by a crash test dummy, the color was horrendus (puke green) but it was a running car, and i was the first one in my circle of friends to have a car so i was so proud of it. i knew the moment i laid my eyes on him that he was the one--my baby.

a year later my dad decided to have it repainted, since the paint was peeling off and everything (like i said earlier, it was a sorry looking car). so the big color hunt began. my mom wanted to paint the whole thing purple, with black interior and everything, but me and my dad told her that i don't want to drive around looking like a giant grape. my dad wanted to paint it candy apple red, with white interior, but i told him it looked too common. with being the drama queen that i am, i wanted to paint the bug pale blue--with baby pink interior, which my parents hated, thus starting the "great color debate". the bickering actually went on for weeks 'till my dad got so pissed off and told the paint guy: "just paint the whole damn thing white!" so you could imagine my horror when i woke up one day and saw it: everything was white! it looked like a refrigerator! my bestfriend thought it was funny to name the bug white westinghouse (after the 'fridge brand) which later evolved to the nickname westie.

i used westie to go everywhere, and i felt so independent and grown up and everything. nevermind that it didn't have air conditioning or that it conks out 90% of the time, it was a car and it was all mine. so now, 6 years and 2 major car crashes later (i broke my left wrist on the first one, and my right on the 2nd one) westie finally retired to my dad's garage, since i developed a phobia for driving after my last car crash. my thought was i would just let westie sit there until i was ready to drive again, or so i thought.

my dad was approached by a beetle collector two weeks ago and he was offering a pretty good deal for my baby westie. my dad told me about it, and i said no f*ckin way. i wouldn't sell my pride and joy, any amount of money would not be enough to buy my precious (no pun intended). thus, my dad gave me the ultimatum: it's either fix the car or get rid of it. that's why i have no choice but to restore it and hopefully drive it after, even though everyone thinks i'm crazy and tells me i should just buy a brand new car. but i guess it's just really hard to part with something that has been a part of you for so long. i know, it's dramatic but hey, i'm not called the drama queen for nothin'.

potter mania once again

2005-07-20T12:03:00.000+08:00

going, going, going, almost gone. the phenomenal book that sold out within 48 hours after release.

i admit. i'm a certified harry potter addict. ever since i read the first book 4 years ago, i was totally hooked. so hooked that my world literature professor actually made me do a full-length discourse analysis on the first 4 books after he caught me reading the goblet of fire in the middle of the class. i know, it's kinda silly, but i totally fell in love with harry potter and his whole world. my mania temporarily stopped after the 5th installment, harry potter and the order of the phoenix becuase of 2 reasons: one, being it took 2 years after the release of goblet of fire for it to be published and second, i was quite disapointed with the story, honestly.

but now i can honestly say that i am back with the potter fever. i guess once a potter-head, always a potter head. that is why last 16 july, i woke up brian at the crack of dawn and dragged him to the nearest bookstore to get my latest copy of the harry potter series: harry potter and the half blood prince. i was totally excited that i was litterally skipping as i left the mall, and i read it once i got into the car. nevermind that i was still nursing a hangover because of my party the night before, i went straight to my room and didnt' go out until i finished the whole thing. well, i won't spoil the story for those of you out there who didn't read the book yet, but i have to say that jk rowling did redeem herself after the disappointing book 5 (in my opinion). the half blood prince contained a lot of twists and revelations that by reading the first two chapters alone will leave your mouth hanging open in shock and make you want to read more. unlike its predecessor, it ingeniously weaved different themes like romance, comedy, drama and suspense, making you realize that harry is not anymore the 11-year old kid who first stepped into the hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. a brilliant masterpiece, if you ask me, and by far, this is the best harry potter book ever read. i guess the only downside is that the ending will make you want to read the last installment right away, but unfortunately, i will have to content my self with the past 6 books and an upcoming movie. for now. well, at least i have something to look forward to for the next couple of years.

turning 22...

2005-07-19T12:40:00.000+08:00

turning 22...

despite the sunburn, totally bad hair day and rain, i had a blast during my 22nd birthday party! thanks to everyone who came to the party! :-) for those who missed it (you guys know who you are) here's an overview of what happened:

yeah, this was how my bed looked like when i got out of the shower after i woke up, courtesy of brian. aww, how sweet. :-P

can you believe that my mum singlehandedly cooked all these?! yum.

hey, it's paris and nicole before the party! hehe. it's me and my fave cousin bab

moi with my college friends (L-R): che, meng, nelson, numer and val

fashion squad minus 2: me with my bestfriends from college che and val (pia and reeya are missing)

the pigpen crowd, aka brian's friends since kindergarden (L-R): janice, xerxes & maddy (anti-social bestfriend jino refuses to be in the pic)

all-you-see-in-this-pic-are-thespians-we-might-be-weird-but-were-cool (L-R): carlo, trish, the drama queen, alex and josel

crazy family friends you won't believe we all met each other in church (L-R): mike, adrian, my bro carl, me, olive, peng (our matchmaker), check and ryan

we all have high cheekbones (LOL!) :-) me, peng and check

better late than never: brian was actually late for my party, he arrived around 1 am (!) damn work! LOL...but at least he made up for it...

that's hot! me and fido (can you tell that's my dog?) in a paris & tinkerbell-ish pose (i must be really drunk for me to agree to have that pic taken)...LOL!

at long last...

2005-07-12T05:47:00.000+08:00

chillin' at the beach in laiya

at long last. after months of waiting, i finally got to go the beach.i really thought it was gonna rain since it was really pouring the whole week before the weekend of my vacation. good thing it was totally bright and sunny last weekend, too sunny if you ask me, since i ended up with a nasty sunburn (note to self: never sunbathe with a cute guy nearby, you'll totally loose track of time and end up looking like a tomato). but at least me and brian got our much-needed r & r despite our "adventure" on the way to the beach.

what's with guys and directions anyway? we got lost and arrived an hour late on the beach since brian refused to ask directions. we ended up going in circles in the middle of nowhere. the only time he agreed to stop and ask for directions was when i threatened him. *seesh*

but despite the sunburn, getting lost and allergy attack (the only downside on my vacation, i totally forgot that i was allergic to mangoes), it was a great weekend and i'm glad that i got to spend it with someone really special *mushy*... :-P

anyway, on a whole new topic, i'm celebrating my birthday this friday and i'm havin' a party!!! you guys are all invited to come, just email or text me for any questions. ;-)

ever get that feeling...

2005-06-23T03:35:00.000+08:00

ever get that feeling...

my oh my. i was talking to my fave cousin bab a while ago (she's just 15 by the way) about nothing. we ended up talking about favorite tv shows, and she asked me if i watched the o.c. i was like, "i think i heard of that show. is that the one patterned after beverly hills 90210?" and gave me a blank look and said: "what's beverly hills?" ouch. that hurt. because talking to someone who doesn't know what beverly hills 90210 is can only mean one thing: i am definitely getting old. and it doesn't help any that i am now demoted to organizing bridal and baby showers, weddings and children's parties whereas before i organized back to school parties, sem break parties, summer parties and sorority parties. damn. has it really been that long already? it has been 6 years since high school graduation, 2 years since college graduation, and my friends are slowly settling down, getting married and having kids. i feel kinda sad about it, cause i know things are never gonna be the same. i know change is part of life, but i'm not sure if i'm ready to move on yet, even though i know i should. to quote joey tribianni: "i was happy in new york, i didn't want things to change. but everyone else moved on so i had no choice but to move on as well."

i am still the same lally that i was 6 years ago, only now minus the 5:30 am curfew and the allowance from my parents. yes, i am older and yes, i would soon settle down...maybe, if that is really what is destined for me. but for now, maybe i'll have fun first.

happily ever after?

2005-06-06T02:55:00.000+08:00

happily ever after?

one by one, my friends are slowly tying the knot with their significant others, and whenever i see them on their wedding days, it makes me feel happy for them and jealous all at the same time. they look so happy, it's as if their dreams finally came true. but it makes me wonder: will they probably feel the same after spending 10 (or more) years with the same man? or will they wish that they never married?

in this world that we live in right now, it is quite common to see people getting married, separating and getting a divorce after. like brad and jen. demi and bruce. tom and nicole. if it can happen to these drop-dead gorgeous people with "almost perfect" lives, then is there any hope for us little people?

i know marriage entails more than living comfortably with your family or maintaining the "spark" that you have with your other half. to quote count olaf from lemony snickett's series of unfortunate events: "marriage is no picnic. you gotta make it work." but how do you "make things work" in a marriage? come to think of it, if you are going to be spending the rest of your life with only one person, spend every waking hour with that person, and almost live and breathe that person, do you think you're gonna survive? i know some romantics out there would probably disagree with me and say that "if you love the person 'till death do us part is not that hard", which is probably true, but seriously, can you? i'm not sure if i can. don't get me wrong, i do want to get married in the future and i do want to have a family someday, but I can't help but think if it is really worth it. If you are bound to fall out of love in the future and it will eventually lead to separation or divorce , why get married in the first place? which makes me think: is there really such a thing as a "happily ever after"?

a totally rare day...

2005-05-25T21:10:00.000+08:00

a totally rare day

listening to: don't worry, be happy by bob marley

elle woods was right. endorphins does make you a happier person. i don't know, but for some reason, i'm like bouncing off the walls, totally happy. and i'm sober, i'm telling you. hehehe. anyway, i have been training like a horse for the past 3 days, i swam for 2 hours a day and stayed at the gym for an hour. the weird thing is, i don't feel cranky at all or sleepy. i'm just so happy! even if all my team mates are totally bummed and cranky since we just came back from our rest days, i wasn't affected at all. as my bff jen would say it: i'm happy-happy-joy-joy!

by the way, the cable guy fixed my cable a while ago! i have cable again! (another reason to be happy!) :-D

5 ways to be a certified beach bum:

2005-05-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

photo by beehyve

summer is about to end, and for those of you out there who are still day dreaming about the waves, sand and water (i know i'm one of them, i have to wait till july to hit the beach)...well, this is for you!

1. quit the football team, basketball team or whatever sport you're in. better yet, quit your job. hang out at the beach and surf all day!

2. forget clothes. if you have a bikini, boardshorts, flip-flops and a surfboard, you're all set.

3. if you don't have much money to rent a place by the beach, camp out by the beach!

4. food? all you need is a fishing rod and you're all set.

5. live life to the fullest, have no fear and most important of all, have fun!

credits: riding giants produced by laird hamilton

rant and raves and then some

2005-05-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

rant and raves and then some

yesterday was a really good day for me. i woke with "must-be-another-crappy-day" mindset and this what i was thinking on my way to the mall before going to work. i had to get my phone (which was only 3 weeks old) fixed since there was something wrong with the built-in camera. the guy in the nokia shop told me that to get my camera fixed would cost me a whopping Php 3,000! so you could really tell that i was totally pissed off and i blew up on brian (tsk, tsk...poor guy). so i had no choice but to go on with the repair. while waiting for my phone, i decided to go around the mall and check out the latest racersuits from speedo. and guess what? their speedo skin was on sale for only Php 1,500! this brightened up my mood a bit (the swimming gods must be smiling on me) and when i went bak to nokia to pick up my phone, the guy said that they just had to do minimal repairs on it so they only charged me Php 165. wow. to top it all off, my dad just told me that he had my doorknob replaced. yippee! so i went to work in a really good mood, pulling up my daily stats 33%! one of my best days, i'm telling you.

then i realized that all good things must come to an end. i woke up today in a really good mood, even if i woke up a little bit late. so i had to rush to get dressed and everything since today was my nephew's baptism. at least my outfit brightened up my mood a bit (it's so cute, very summery). so when i got to church, i was chatting with my cousin and told her we should get our pic taken in my phone so that i can upload it in my album. and *gasp*! lo and behold, the camera on my phone was busted again! seesh. and top it all off, traffic on the way to work was hell, and i barely made it on time! so you can probably tell my mood today by now. this day totally sucked that it's not funny, it's even afecting my work performance. geez. i guess when it rains it really pours.

i'm only happy when it rains...not anymore

2005-05-18T22:49:00.000+08:00

i'm only happy when it rains...not anymore

"people should know that i train like an animal. the progress is the result of a lot of factors and when you put them together, things happen."
--inge de bruin, netherlands
world's fastest woman on water

i was supposed to go swimming yesterday, but alas, it rained when i was about to go to the pool to train. since i didn't want to get electrecuted while on the pool, i eneded up having a chad michael murray marathon (much to the dismay of brian, hehehe). oh well, so i think i have to wait for another week before i can hit the pool. so here i am again, lounging at work while listening to j.lo (not my choice of music, i tell you). ugh. i hate the feeling of not being able to work out. i get cramps all the time and i feel sluggish and sleepy all the time. damn rain. which is funny, because my theme song during high school is "i'm only happy when it rains" by garbage. maybe because back in high school, classes get cancelled because of the rain. not the case if you're already working. you're forced to come to work even if you're soaked. that's life i guess.

new stuff about me as of yesterday:

* i finished deception point and loved it! i still do think dan brown is a god. so im currently reading: harry potter and the order of the phoenix by j.k. rowling (for the 5th time), since the harry potter book 6 is going to be released on me and harry potter's birthday, i need to refresh my memory on what happened during the last book.

* book status: still pending until further notice (translation: pending until i get a new computer).

* i got a massage last monday! wohoo! boy, did it feel good! my massuse worked extra hard on the knots on my shoulder, hehehe.

* chad michael murray is a real babe. my cable's still not working, so is my doorknob and i haven't seen randy's new look yet (and he still has a bad shoulder).

* i uploaded john's new cd and new video into my mp3 player! yay! so i get to listen to him all the time! love his new video, bad, bad boys...i think it was totally hillarious (love the wig!)!

* i lost my cigarette case and cutie lighter last night. is it the universe's way of telling me to quit smoking?!

i know, i know...things will get better...i just wish it will get better soon...

random thoughts while having a migrane...

2005-05-15T22:50:00.000+08:00

random thoughts while having a migrane

i usually like summers. but it has been really, really humid lately that i find myself going to the mall almost everyday just to have decent airconditioning (very pinoy, but i have no choice, i received the electric bill the other day and i almost fainted). tried sleeping a while ago without turning on the ac, and boy, i realized that it was a very stupid move for me. i woke up totally soaked, with a splitting headache. but i still had the energy to drag myself to work. so while listening to smashing pumpkins and lounging here at the office...just thought of writing some nonesense to take my thoughts off my headache. at least i'm still living up to my "migrane girl" title in high school...

* people are people had a sale today, and i totally went crazy. brian's comment: "is it the end of the world already babe? how come you're panic buying?"

* my nephew, david johann is getting baptized next week, and guess who's the goddess of a god mother? yep. it just feels weird, my ex-crush being married to my first cousin and they chose me as the godmother of their first kid. well i guess they wouldn't have ended up together if not for me...hehehe... >:-P

* bitchin' at work...im now with my new team, and after being with them for a total of 2 weeks, 2 of my team mates got transferred. it's so sad because none of us can do anything about it. that's life for you, i guess. so now i'm worrying about my own stats coz i just got regualrized and i think i would want to hold on to this job for a little while till im ready to go back to the media industry...

* my cable broke down, as well as my doorknob. i'm slowly thinking that my place might collapse right on top of me while i'm sleeping, or worse, while i'm in the shower. it's taking the cable guy 2 weeks to fix it, and my doorknob is still busted. i bought a new one from the hardware store the other day, now all i have to do is to look for someone to attach it for me...

* randy's shoulder is still busted, and he shaved his head, though i haven't seen him yet. i'm currently back swimming, and i'm trying to grow out my hair coz the pixie cut ain't working anymore... i have a new zit right under my nose and it hurts like hell, not to mention it looks horrible. seesh. i hope my dermatologist comes back soon from her vacation...

* i'm getting an average of 4 hours of sleep everyday and i'm trying to function without coffee. i had to quit my java coz i've been so jumpy lately it's not funny anymore. i'm experiencing a coffee withrawal syndrome. "hi my name is lally and i'm a coffee addict..."

*currently reading: deception point by dan brown. it's taking me forever to finish it, because of all the work that i've been buried in lately. an interesting story, but for the first time, it's taking me 2+ weeks to finish a book.

* state of my book: pending up to now. i'm almost finished though, just one more chapter to go, but since my ninja turtle of a computer broke down on me, i haven't gotten around to finishing it yet. brian calls it "chick lit", well at least he didn't call it a trashy romance novel...

* thank goodness it's already my weeked tomorrow. i'm getting my much needed massage. aaaah... i can't wait. but for now, i have to focus on my work here, my boss just bit my neck because i'm not doing "performance-level". can you blame me if im so damn stressed? yikes...

* footloose auditions were held last sunday. me and my fiddler on the roof/reuter friends thought of auditioning. i was supposed to do my classic "on my own" audition piece from les miserables, but my fiddler "son" edwin (he had the role of motel, while my role was shaindel, motel's mother) said it didn't fit since footloose was a comedy, and we were required to do a song and dance number. so it was "jail house tango" from chicago. so far, the worst audtion ever since my "the wiz" audition 12 years ago. but to quote tita zeny: "at least you had fun!"

so there, random thoughts from my twisted mind. been leading a pretty boring life lately, need to do something different to spice things up. maybe i should climb mt. everest tomorrow...or better yet, rule the world. but i'm glued to my screen for now.

life's a bitch...

2005-05-01T21:06:00.000+08:00

life's a bitch.

this weekend was supposed to be a long weekend for REGULAR yuppies out there. well, i was never a regular joe ever since college. i always had to be different. so now, for the long weekend period, i find myself at work, and yes, on a sunday. normally i don't mind, but then, i've been feeling like crap lately that i feel that i NEED r&r...i even put my book on hold because i've been feeling so damn stressed lately. i can't even go to the spa to get a well-deserved massage! arrrgh! i know, it's a small thing for other people, but it's quite a big thing for me since the reason of me switching industries is because i need to relax before i start school again (i wonder when that will happen! with the reate of tuition fee increase and mallwide sales, i'll be lucky if i get to finish my master's degree by the time i'm 40). oh well, maybe this week things will improve...i wish...

crying at weddings

2005-04-10T20:19:00.000+08:00

the bride and the groom, one of my bestfriends chinggay and her hubby jon

the highschool gang before it's showtime: trisha, liezel, jen, moi, joyce & hannah

i don't cry at weddings. i think it is really corny to do so, since it is supposed to be a happy moment fot everyone, so hy cry? right? well i threw out my whole "crying at weddings" rule yesterday, when one of my bestfriends chinggay got married to her cutie boyfriend jon. i know it should be a happy time for all of us, but then again, it felt weird, since she's the first one in our crazy high school bunch to tie the knot. i remember when we were making our "fearless predictions" days away from our high school graduation, we predicted that chinggay will most likely be a starving artist roaming the streets of italy, painting whatever she sees. who would ever guess that she will be the first one to get married? i m so happy for her, but i guess i can't help but feel sad to accept that yes, we are getting old. it's been six years since our high school graduation...from high school proms to graduation, debut parties to being college graduates, yuppies to marriage...what's next for our crazy high school bunch? baptismal to children's parties perhaps? ;-)

death upon my fairy tales

2005-01-10T12:58:00.000+08:00

"someday, my prince will come..."
~snowhite~

i was asked by a friend of mine yesterday if i liked fairy tales and if i believed in them. well, as a kid, my dad used to read me all these tales about snowhite, sleeping beauty and cinderella (his version actually, he told me vanilla ice was the performer on prince charming's ball, and everyone was dancing to the tune of "ice ice baby". nice one, dad). even so, i never did agree with fairy tales. you see, they always portray women as helpless beings and that the only thing they can be proud of is their beauty. they either lie around sleeping or locked in a tower waiting for their handsome prince charming to come and rescue them. whatsupwidat?!?

in my opinion, fairy tales teaches kids, especially girls that women are basically the weaker sex. so not true, because it has been proven over and over again that anything guys can do, women can do better. why do you think we had two lady presidents? or why do you think the leaders in the top industries are women? simply because we know how to rule. we command both poise and power, something that guys cannot do.

so sue me, walt disney, cause chicks rock!

new year's revolution

2005-01-09T09:19:00.000+08:00

unlike what my what my title suggests, this is not a wrestling article (although i would love to write about randy orton, but that's for another post, i guess). hehe. since it's already a new year, i thought i would write about my new year's resolutions for this year (i know it's late, but hey, this is my page). so for the year 2005, i resolve to:

1. continue smoking

2. be a couch potato & not exercise

3. be a junkfood junkie (veggies are a no-no!)

4. not leave this country

5. spend my cash on worthless gimmicks and not replace donatello (my pc)

ok, before you say that i'm crazy, there is a rational explanation for my resolutions. well, in the past, never was i able to keep my resolutions so for this year, i know better. go figure. hehehe.

10 things i bet you don't know about me...

2005-01-06T18:41:00.000+08:00

1. i can make my toes "hold hands"

2. when i was a kid, i thought i was a robot, like the kid in the defunct 80's show small wonder

3. my mom still calls me "her baby"

4. i collect superman comic books, but i still don't have the death of superman

5. my first ambition was to be an airforce pilot

6. i sometimes dream in animation

7. because of my grandma's influence, i am a big wrestling freak ever since i was 7 years old

8. i was once in batibot

9. when i was doing my thesis, i ate raw coffee in order to wake up

10. i can't watch tv with my head straight, i always have to tilt it sideways